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Genealogy Query Details
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The Genealogy Query Database |
Genealogy Query Details |
Full Details for Query #283689 |
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Date Posted: |
02-Nov-2011 | |||||||||||||||||||||
Surname(s): |
SUNSHINE : WEAVER | |||||||||||||||||||||
Query Text: |
I am searching for my birth mother whose name, I was told, was/is Betty Haynes (or Haines ), and who was from Pennsylvania. She was about 19 when I was born at Hadley Hospital, Washington, DC, at 2:45 pm, on March 17, 1952. Though my mom told me she was "getting divorced," I am not sure she was ever married. That makes no difference to me. I know very few details as whenever I asked, my mom would say she "didn't remember," though I have known I was adopted for as long as I can remember. My adopted father died when I was 12, but I know he would have given me more info if, as I grew older, I had asked him. My mom did tell me my birth mother told her my birth father was Irish Catholic, which is the only info I have on him. Five days before I was born, my adoptive parents met Betty, as this was a private adoption. My mom said I looked very much like her...brown hair, green eyes, but taller. I am 5'9" tall and Betty, she said, was about 5'7" tall. I was also told that about a year after I was born, Betty called my parents to ask how I was because she said she might want to have another child someday, so, I would be thrilled to discover I might have a sibling or two. So, if by chance they know about me and are looking, that would be great, though I don't, of course, know names. Before she hung up the phone, Betty assured my mom she would not call again. IF she ever did, my mom never told me. Though I was born in DC, my adoptive parents...Nathaniel and Martha Sunshine...brought me home to live in Irvington, New Jersey, and when I was two years old, we moved to Millburn, New Jersey, where I grew up, graduated from Millburn High, and earned a BA in English with a minor in American History, from Kean University, Union, NJ. My dad was an attorney and my mom was a housewife. They are now both deceased; my dad passed in 1965, and my mom in 2006. I was married on November 7, 1993, and our daughter was born 3 months premature in May, 1994. As a result of her premature birth, Jessie has cerebral palsy, which has affected her legs and right arm, and uses a wheelchair as she cannot walk. She attends a regular high school, in regular classes, and is an "A/B" student. The only special education she receives is physical/occupational therapy every Thursday through the school system. After Jess was born, my doctor told me that, since my pregnancy was perfectly normal, "there was a chance" that the toxemia I developed shortly before they had to perform the caesarian section, might have been "hereditary," and my birth mother or her mother,or a grandmother, might have had the same. Since I have no known "family medical history," it was impossible to say. I was a "tomboy" as a kid; extremely active, and swimming and horses were (and still are) my "passions." In a town like Millburn/Short Hills, I always felt like an "outsider;" much more "at home" on a horse, or climbing around the South Mountain Reservation. Even in my own family, my personality, likes, dislikes...there has always been very little in common with them. Not that it mattered. I was exceptionally lucky to have had such wonderful parents. In 1984, I joined the Army, and am a Gulf War Veteran. But, that is when the "unknown " medical aspects of my family history hit home. My left hip started to deteriorate, and it was "discovered" that I was born with hip displasia; the kind, my doctors informed me, was "inherited" from the maternal side of my natural family. Jessie also has hip displasia; something she inherited from me. So, it is those unknowns that I feel are too important to ignore anymore. As Jess gets older, what can I tell her? Many times, conditions or diseases skip one or two generations, , and it is frustrating, and hits home when I have to answer "I don't know" to everything those with "blood kin" take for granted. Something everyone has the right to know and should know, we are shut away from. Intellectually, I understand the many reasons our records are sealed, but I am a mother myself now, and for that reason, if my birth mom or a sibling is looking for me, all I would like is some information, and to look someone in the face and know there is more than my daughter, and she and I do have a history. | |||||||||||||||||||||
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